Supreme Court to hear DC v. Heller–send me $50,000

What? The Brady Bunch did it–why can’t I? Actually, though, today’s post isn’t dedicated to making fun of the Bradys as much as it is about making fun of their perhaps even sillier comrades at the Violence Policy Center.

The VPC has of course also noticed that the Second Amendment case is going to the Supreme Court, but apparently have found themselves no longer up to the task of arguing that DC’s handgun ban has been an effective bar to homicides. Now, they claim that it is suicides that will balloon out of control if the ban is struck down.

“Washington, DC’s ban on handguns in the home has long protected DC’s residents as measured by the District of Columbia’s firearm suicide and overall suicide rate. The District’s handgun ban provides compelling evidence of how strict gun laws save lives by keeping handguns out of homes. The District of Columbia ranks 51st (last) in the country for firearms suicide for 2004, the most recent year for which statistics are available. The District also ranks last for overall suicide. Maintaining the ban will ensure the health and safety of DC residents. [See http://www.vpc.org/dcsuicide.htm for data on DC suicide rates compared to the 10 states with the highest suicide, gun suicide, and gun ownership rates, as well as a full ranking of all 50 states by their firearm suicide rates and overall suicide rates for the year 2004.]

So let me see if I’m following them correctly here–the reason Washington DC needs to have the ability to ban handguns is that doing so is necessary to stop DC residents from committing suicide? Doesn’t that sound just a teensy bit . . . ludicrous?

At risk of being accused of callous disregard for my fellow man, I have to wonder how much I should mourn the potential loss of people who would commit suicide over the revocation of restrictive citizen disarmament laws. Seems to me that people who view liberty with such fear and loathing are unlikely to be people the country needs. I think Darwin would agree.

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7 Responses to “Supreme Court to hear DC v. Heller–send me $50,000”

  1. dwlawson Says:

    I think you misunderstand them, Kurt. I think it must be terribly depressing to live in DC and the only thing that prevents DC residents from offing themselves is the handgun ban. It’s just too much work to assemble and load the shotgun or jigger up a noose, etc. Handguns just invite suicide. I thank Mayor Daley for having the compassion to keep me from owning a handgun and thus saving my life.

  2. Don Gwinn Says:

    Wow . . . . the sheer desperation of that is telling. I would expect them just to blithely state that it prevents murder and pretend not to notice any outrage.

    Is it possible that they think people are paying closer attention now?

    I almost expect them to wink when they do something like this. Something to let us know that they realize we’re in on the joke, you know?

  3. 45superman Says:

    Hey guys–how ’bout that 50 Grand???

  4. Smershagent Says:

    I’m only giving you 50 K if it’s tax-deductible, like the status the Bradys’ donations inexplicably enjoy.

  5. 45superman Says:

    I’m only giving you 50 K if it’s tax-deductible, like the status the Bradys’ donations inexplicably enjoy.

    Hell–I obviously can’t swing that–I haven’t even figured out how to tap into the vast “gun lobby” money pipeline.

  6. hairy hobbit Says:

    Hell–I obviously can’t swing that–I haven’t even figured out how to tap into the vast “gun lobby” money pipeline.

    Oh come on, you just won’t admit they actually pay you, and all of us gun nuts. ;P

    You see methods of suicide or number of ATTEMPTED suicides anywhere? How about comparing it to other communist bloc cities like Chicago or New York?

    * The District’s firearms suicide rate is a fraction of the rates experienced in states with high rates of gun ownership. In 2004 the 10 states with the highest firearms suicide rates were Alaska, Montana, Idaho, Nevada, West Virginia, New Mexico, Wyoming, Kentucky, Vermont, and Tennessee. and the fact that there’s not a whole hell of a lot to do in most of those places has NOTHING do to with suicide either…it’s just the guns. It’s ALWAYS the guns. Did you know there was never a murder before the first gun was invented? It’s true, yep, sure is. In fact, it wasn’t even the gun, it was George Bush that came along and tempted the gun with a golden bullet in the garden of Eden, BEFORE he flooded it to kill all the blacks by creating global warming making a hurricane, shackling them all into their homes and promising the mayor of the city that nothing bad could ever happen. There were NO suicides either before guns were invented. Nobody ever died and the clouds were made of cotton candy and gold really did appear at the end of the rainbow.

    Now…about that $50000…you COULD always go get a mail order /internet reverendship like the good Reverend Jackson, start a BS front group or 501-c3, get yourself a mistress and milk the stupid herd .

  7. Creatively Armed Says:

    I think that most of the “suicides” there are political ones anyway. I wouldn’t be surprised if some gov’t agency was a part of some of them.

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